Everybody Knows This Is Nowhere

Yep, I know it's been close to three months since the last post. All I can say as an explanation is that I got a new job back in October and the hours are completely insane. The people are great though, and that's no small thing when you're expected to spend so much time in the office. Any way you slice it, there hasn't been enough time for music of any type, so it was nice to sit here and bang this one out over the course of the last hour or so.

Everybody Knows This Is Nowhere. Ok, so back when I was in the 8th grade (or so), I went camping with a couple of friends. Nothing major, my parents lived adjacent to an abandoned nursery, so it was pretty easy to walk our tents about 200 yards or so into the "woods" and camp amongst the overgrown designer shrubbery and trees of yesteryear. The holes where some of the trees that had been sold once stood served as nice fire pits too.

Anyway, 13/14 year old boys aren't so great at staying put for any length of time, so it wasn't long before we'd venture back into the neighborhood to see what was up. I'm not too proud to say it, but we did find some unlocked cars about the place and proceeded to rummage through - it was Jersey after all. We never took money, but music was another matter. This was one of the cassettes we nabbed (along with, I think, Alan Parsons Project - I Robot). This was always my favorite track on the record, even though I think there were some 'hits' on it.

We're lucky we never got our asses beat over taking those tapes, but I'm sure I got more out of that music in the long run than they ever would have. I mean, it's been 25 years and I'm still listening to it. Amazing how we can justify some of the things that we did in our youth, right?

Positively 4th Street

This has always been one of my favorite Bob Dylan songs, though I didn't know until recently that it never actually appeared on an album.

Growing up, my parents had it on Greatest Hits Vol. I, so that was really my only exposure to it. I guess I'd just always assumed that it was from Highway 61 or Blonde on Blonde or some other classic album that I don't own. The only Dylan records I've ever had are Another Side of Bob Dylan and Bringing it all back Home. Well, those and Greatest Hits volumes I and II.

Undeniably one of the greatest (if not the greatest) lyricists ever, this one always stood out to me as one of the harshest things I'd ever heard.
Upon further review, it appears that it's about some unfortunate soul who didn't support Dylan's move to electric from the ranks of the acoustic folkies. But man does this guy get the proverbial dressing down. If you've ever seen Don't Look Back, the D.A. Pennebaker documentary covering Dylan's 1965 UK Tour, the sardonic wit of Positively 4th Street no longer would have surprised you. Some of the answers that Dylan has in the film for the British press are absolutely priceless. I haven't seen it in a while, maybe I should revisit it.

Last Child

Everyone has a first favorite band, right? Well, mine was Aerosmith, no doubt about it. As a youngster of 10 or so, I was able to catch Aerosmith right in their heyday. Well, catch them as well as any 10 year old can be expected to.

The first item that I ever purchased with money that I'd 'earned' on my own (albeit for bringing our family's garbage cans around back or something) was Toys in the Attic. I still have that vinyl copy, and it has an amazing amount of battlescars. The kind that only a 10/11 year old boy can inflict via hours of listening on a K-Mart record player. Not a stereo, a record player - the kind that you could close the lid on and pick it up and carry. 'cause it had a handle. Nice.

However as a seasoned and well tenured Aerosmith fan, I've always felt it was my duty to absolutely and unequivocally detest anything from their 'comeback' era - which (without much actual calculation) I would estimate to be much longer than their 'vintage' or 'glory days', and certainly much more profitable. Cryin'? Jamie's Got a Gun? Love in an Elevator? Not for me. I'll take Mama Kin, Back in the Saddle and Walk This Way, please.

But you know what? You can't begrudge them any of their later success. It would have seemed completely unjust if they'd gone away after the late 70's / early 80's flameout. A band with that much talent and charisma deserved much better. So while I was happy to see them achieve the success and adulation in the 1990's, I just couldn't listen to it. But everyone in deserves second chances in life, right? Just look at Michael Vick . . . . .

I'm Yours

Pretty straight forward, this one. This song is a favorite with my kids, and they bet me I couldn't record it. I said I could.

I'm honestly not sure who wins, afterall it is only about 2 minutes of the song. But hey, i was just trying to prove a point, not spend an entire evening recording this.

I would just add though (in a completely unrelated note), that while Jason Mraz isn't exactly my favorite current artist, I did have the opportunity to see him play once in a very controlled setting.

It was at one of those corporate events at an ad agency I used to work with. He had absolutely no clue who we were, and honestly we couldn't have cared less who he was either - it was lunchtime of all things when they trotted him in to play. And he was relatively unknown to the general public and completely unknown to us.

Until he started to play this song. It was just him on stage and this album was just about to be released. The second you heard it, you knew this was going to be a massive hit. How could it not be? Turns out, they guy is completely hilarious (had us basically crying with between songs chatting) in addition to being massively talented.

Bennie and the Jets

Bennie and the Jets -

This album (Greatest Hits) represents one of my absolute earliest musical memories. It was to this album that my cousins and I used to dance around the backyard singing along to Crocodile Rock, et al. while our parents sat drinking beer, barbequing and generally wasting time, probably happy to have us out of their hair for a few minutes.

The record, as any purported Greatest Hits collection should be, is packed from top to bottom (pun?) with awesome material. And, yes, I know Bennie and the Jets it was originally released on the Yellow Brick Road album, but I guess my Uncle didn't have that one.

When I was young, the whole flamboyant look thing was kind of captivating to me. I mean, what was this guy doing with the huge glasses and the duck suits, etc., I thought. But later I came to realize just how much substance was in Bernie Taupin's lyrics (well, not necessarily this one), and how incredible the musicianship is on some of these tracks. Clearly, Elton didn't need this extra added showmanship, but who can argue with the resulting career result?

Sadly, one of my cousins passed away in 1999 (32 is far too young), but I can say from the bottom of my heart that I have never heard a cut off of this album since then without taking a second to remember her.

Cocaine Blues

Cocaine Blues - Click Title To Play

When I first heard this song in the 7th grade or so, it was purely for the novelty of the last refrain of shooting "that bad bitch down". It was only later in life that I truly came to appreciate the breadth and depth of Johnny's contributions to the music world.

It took a bar stool at Doc Holiday's for that.

Yeah, he went through different 'stages' - the 'i'll put strings behind every song on this album' stage wasn't a favorite, but in general he kept it on an even keel through most of his career and recorded some of the most kick ass Country any of us have ever heard.

Not really kick ass in a rockin' way (it was sometime, though), but more so in terms of straight up attitude. Who goes into a max security prison these days and whips the inmates into a frenzy with songs about someone biting off a piece of their ear? Who writes songs from the perspective of an alcoholic who's hung over on a Sunday morning while everyone else is going to church? Who walks the line or falls into a burning ring of fire? Not Montgomery Gentry. Not Rascal Flatts, I'll tell you that. Now I don't want this to degenerate into a 'new Country sucks' rant, but in true Dennis Miller form I'll tell you that Nashville could sorely use a few more like Johnny, Merle, Willie and Waylon and less of that shite that they're passing off as Country music. Yes, I know there are some good contemporary Country artists out there - Brad Paisley comes to mind - but in general that stuff is as edgy as a bowling ball.

For the love of God, when's the last time Rascal Flatts flipped anyone off during a show? Dude's too busy putting gel in his hair for that.

Bastards of Young

Bastards of Young - Click Title To Play

If I could only listen to the music of one band for the rest of my days, I'd seriously consider making that band The Replacements. I know it's not exactly rational; there are many better bands - The Beatles, The Stones and Zeppelin come to mind. But for me, these guys have something that a lot of bands today don't seem to have. It's a kind of sincerity, I think. Honestly, I think they were just sincere about not giving a shit. That was refreshing when I was a kid, and it's still refreshing today when I listen to them.

The only real reason that they weren't a complete smash hit in my opinion is that they were a bunch of total and complete drunks. I remember seeing them one time in a now defunct punk club near my hometown. It was called City Gardens, and it was in one of the nastiest areas of Trenton, New Jersey. If you've even driven through the 'nice' part of Trenton where the Capitol Building is, just imagine what the bad part looks like. Particularly 20 years ago.

Anyway, the lead guitarist wore a dress for pretty much all of the show. He kept falling down drunk, and when he did, the rest of the band would pelt him with garbage that they had stuffed in their pockets. Not like shredded paper and stuff, but coffee grinds and rotten lettuce. That kind of garbage. They were all totally smashed and the set consisted of multiple restarts (it can't be easy to play music with garbage hands) and attempts at the Batman theme song as well as Born to Run (we were in NJ afterall).

It's really too bad that they didn't make it bigger though. They had some great pop songs. Really catchy. It's just that they chose to get wasted and butcher them with the amps cranked. Unlike me, who just butchers this acoustically.